A trio of events

I'm trying to get around to posting achievements from the last 6 months but job applications keep getting in the way. Anyway, at some point, October I think I had a trio of events. First was a Sophie's Wish fundraiser at Megakidz where I just did a couple of tombolas; then a fashion show for Rainbow's End, which everyone enjoyed; and then curated my first art exhibition as a mental health week event. Ended up knackered. I did ask myself a few times why I do these things for free when they tire me out so much but the delight people took in having their run on the catwalk and paintings on display soon reminded me that I am not the centre of the universe and I can sleep when I'm dead!

Erna looking amazing in clothes for super skinny people:

The poster from the artSHIP exhibition:

The little blog of DREAMS

Well, seems I have chronic blog neglect. Nice to know that it will be here when I need it though. I have lots of small triumphs to record but as I didn't take my lithium last night I am in one of those moods where I am overwhelmed by my dreams. I thought if I post them here then I (or you, if you exist) can post ideas in the comments on how I should go about achieving this.

So here's the run down:

1. Become a children's doctor - an ambition I have had since childhood that uses almost all of my natural
                                                gifts: barriers being - there are no part time courses(disability discrimination I
                                                cry!); funding(top up fees); my Chemistry A level is not A but AS; fitness to
                                                practice discrimination; the GAMSAT; difficulties of getting work experience
                                                being from a non-medical family.

2. Do a PhD to benefit the world            - money(though cheaper than medicine fees); needing to find a tutor
(arts/health/peer support/storytelling)         who believes in me; coming up with a stonking proposal.

3. Sell my artwork (and not just to  - confidence vs the benefits trap (i.e I'd get into trouble if I succeeded
friends/family)                                   but if I failed I'd lose confidence.

4. Publish some writing           - confidence to finish stuff; finding an agent; knowing where my talents lie

5. Get a short film shown at a festival - no access to final cut pro; need a wingman; need a fab idea.

6. Direct or write for professional theatre - lack of contacts; need experience to get experience; not being a
                                                                Londoner.

7. Start an arts' centre to employ people - would need around £500,000.
who face discrimination and enrich the
community culturally at the same time.

8. Get my own home                - Dull but true. Then I could make it totally awesome, charge my friends just
                                                  enough rent to pay the mortgage and make an art studio in the cellar.

9. Be a radio presenter (hospital or community radio), should be possible, surely? And stand-up comedy.

10. Be well enough to travel.

And find a job, get well (as much as pos), find a nice man, have a baby and lose half a stone obviously!

                                               

August away

This month I've been rushed off my feet. A week in Normandy with one of my sisters and Mum and Dad followed by a few days in the Big Londonia and then a whole lot of cleaning and decorating in Nottingham. I've really missed my bed!

Normandy was meant to be relaxing with no phone or internet, but I took the troubles of home away with me in my head so the best I managed was a bit of distraction. Bec lost her camera on Le Mont Saint Michel on our first day out leading to me trying to remember how to speak French! We spent a lot of time on the beach, winning a sandcastle competition with a Team GB Mini Cooper for Andy and enjoying the strong waves and warm, fairly seaweed-free sea. I got some amazing shells too. Dad and I took a trip to Bayeux to see the tapestry, which turned out to be more of an embroidery - false advertising - and we sort of accidentally bought a sword.

I love France in Summer. All the dilapidated barns and fields of sweetcorn. We spent a lot of time with wine and cheese in the garden of Le Maison Ferey.

London was rather a last minute affair. I got a place on a 'multi-media journalism masterclass' making content for Comic Relief. London is nerve wracking enough for me without having to go out making voxpops and getting chased off by security guards and strange communists. I met some seriously amazing people and got a chance to see Christopher's new flat.

Keen to spend a bit more time with him I followed him to Nottingham where I totally overdid it. Spending 6 hours cleaning an oven that should really have been scrapped and inhaling far too many fumes.

Now back in Sheffield I've got lots of work to catch up on. Only a week till Arkady leaves. September will be a sink or swim month for me.

Ouch - blog neglect! Sorry about that to my followers (both of you ;-)) Though actually, one of this month's notable mentions of achievement goes to my first piece of fashion journalism as I started my seasonal columnist scribbling over at British Style Bloggers http://britishstylebloggers.org.uk/2012/06/28/thou-shalt-think-for-thyself/. I'm now planning my July post because it'll have to be up while I'm on Jaunt 1 of the holidays down in Oxford, helping out in the filming of Villainy.

Another thing keeping me very busy has been my (our- it's a Matt and Amy get nerdy project) entry to The Anthology context over at IdeasTap. They fund a 3 month project to produce an e-zine or anthology and we put together a proposal around guerilla art called 'Off Canvas'. This  involved hours of touching up, shooting and uploading photos as well as writing the proposal and trawling around Sheffield with a camera and a pasty from the £1 bakery, which is incidentally, just as bizarre as it sounds.

One from Moorfoot.

We had a mammoth day at Sophie's Wish filling another 100 cookie jars to sell at Summer events - including Crosspool festival on Saturday, come one and all!

I also pulled a wonderful little suitcase out of a skip in the rain. I've now relined it with wrapping paper:

And cleaned and started painting the rather many front panel:

Now just need a picture for the back. Well, hopefully July will yield more fun and crafts.

Rainbows, lollipops and (fingers crossed) sunshine!

Tomorrow weather and energy permitting I'm going to my first Pride celebration so when I came across this blog http://walkingwithintegrity.blogspot.co.uk it felt like fate.

'Walking with Integrity' are a church campaign in America who don't just passively accept people but go to Pride festivals and welcome people of all sexual orientations and gender identities. They are campaigners for gay rights too.

So often all you hear about with the church in the US is those awful publicity hounds of the Westboro Baptist Church. As a Christian (albeit one having a crisis of faith) these people hurt me as they can't fail to give all Christians a bad name. I was so pleased to find that somewhere in the world the accepting, loving and welcoming face of Christianity, the one that I believe is most prevalent but all too quiet, is taking a stand.

I enjoyed one sermon on the site so much that I wanted to post a little of it here. It starts with a heartfelt appreciation of the joy of finding your partner....

"It is no small consolation in this life to have someone you can unite with you in an intimate affection and the embrace of a holy love, someone in whom your spirit can rest, to whom you can pour out your soul, to whose pleasant exchanges, as to soothing songs, you can fly in sorrow… with whose spiritual kisses, as with remedial salves, you may draw out all the weariness of your restless anxieties. A man who can shed tears with you in your worries, be happy with you when things go well, search out with you the answers to your problems, whom with the ties of charity you can lead into the depths of your heart; . . . where the sweetness of the Spirit flows between you, where you so join yourself and cleave to him that soul mingles with soul and two become one."


and goes on to admit some hard truths and call for people to make some difficult amends...

"We are asking the church to do exactly what my friend said they must do - recognize that its teaching has been wrong and admit that it has harmed many children of G-d in the process. In the words of the confession we will use today, it means being able and willing to admit that “We have denied your goodness in each other, in ourselves, and in the world you have created.” 

But that is only the first step. It also means, in the words of the Confession, that we must “repent of the evil that enslaves us, the evil we have done, and the evil done on our behalf.” Having lived through the painful process of desegregation in Central Florida in the 1960s, I know only too well how difficult it can be to admit that you were wrong, that your understandings, words and behavior have been harmful to others and to realize that you had no choice but to repent, to change your mind, change directions, change your life if you were to live a life of intellectual honesty and integrity. The cognitive dissonance that arises from such a realization is painful and incredibly disorienting."

And finally, a note of hope for the future

" ... One of the most encouraging things I have ever heard him (Jack Spong, reformed homophobic, now equal rights campaigner) say was that the outcome of our long struggle for gay and lesbian equality has not been in doubt for some time now, only the time table for the goal of full inclusion."

I hope they don't mind me reposting such a large swathe of the sermon but they are about spreading a message of love, and so it is my privilege to pass it on. I hope I demonstrate my support for my gay friends and at least some of them will let me be a bridesmaid at their wedding (hint, hint).

Blackberry, proudly purple!

xxx

So the sunshine has now gone but I feel I made the most of it. Getting out of the house several times unlike over the period of March sun when Is stayed in bed with the curtains closed. There has been a BBQ, a little walk and a week at home with my niece who discovered ice cream in all its confusing ways of being surprisingly cold and surprisingly yummy.

In particular I was glad that the sun stayed out for the Cobden View pub charity day. I made a 'My Little Pony' inspired pin the tail on the donkey and we also ran a tombola. Arkady came along too and helped blow up the balloons. Sophie was adorably determined to blow them up too but at 3 years old I think it would have been rather miraculous if she had succeeded.

A wonky looking donkey - too big to take a photo of on the kitchen floor really.

It was nice to have to get up in the morning because it meant we had the rest of the day in the sunshine. The pub garden was followed by a BBQ in the park with Mike and Paul, then USLES Eurovision party and back to Mike and Paul's to catch up with some old friends. 'French food' (camembert and french stick) was a particular highlight of Eurovision, unlike the French entry.

Blackberry pony trots off.
xxx

Something I guess we all aim to achieve is being a better friend. So often trying to be a good friend is one aspect of my life in which I manage to overcome my fears and sacrifice my terror on the altar of friendship. Last month was no different. I went to support my housemate Arkady in his first wrestling performance. For some reason I often feel more comfortable on a stage than in an audience. I have familiarity with my surroundings, some ownership or stake-holdership in the event and, most importantly, control. At wrestling I had none of these things but luckily, what I did have was a fellow nervous nelly on my arm. Mr Matt, complete with cords and looking like his usual eccentric self accompanied me as we ran, a little late, up the steps of a community building on Leppings Lane. We weren’t 100% sure that we were even in the correct place but as we entered the building resembling ‘The Burrow’ i.e. held together by PVA and magic, we reassured ourselves that there probably wasn’t more than one wrestling event on in Hillsborough that night.

A motley crowd of stage night goers, small waif-like children and bemused-looking wrestler WAGs were sat around an impressive looking ring as we took seats tentatively at the back of the room. I can see how Arkady came to this from pantomime. The whole thing is a performance rather than a competition and good guys and villains get time to have plenty of banter with the audience between their moves. On more than one occasion the small children looked in danger of being flattened by a lycra-clad bruiser being thrown over the ropes.  The typical habitat of a Mr Matt or a BlackberryThorn is in a theatre or a library and so our laughter was mainly of the nervous sort.

Our bravery was rewarded just before the end of the first half when Arkady swaggered on in character as ‘The Baron’, a Southern ponce (yes, he’s playing himself ;-P) hurling insults and telling the noisy little ones that it was past their bedtime (I happened to agree). Arkady in lycra isn’t exactly my idea of a pin up poster (think more the tweed of Matt Smith and the voice of Alan Rickman) but he was  excellent. The throws he used on his opponents looked really professional and much better in situ than when he had attempted to demonstrate on me in our kitchen. I didn’t like it when he got thrown and clutched Mr Matt’s arm – he probably still has the finger marks.

Here is a shot of him in action....

The blue blur is Arkady, kindly letting a skinny kid beat him to a pulp.

He lasted a long time in the final fight and went out just after an old guy who could easily have been a Jimmy Saville impersonator.

Though I can’t say I’ll be turning into a regular I certainly did enjoy seeing Arkady in action and can’t wait to help him work on his costume.

More blackberries than thorns on this little adventure!

xxx