11 more achievements of 2011..

Eh hem. This year other than the epic cakes I have posted, the pointless earrings(I have no piercings) I have made and the other longer post topics I have shared I have also done some other little things that I now aim to round up like a cowgirl, because as we all know "Stetsons are cool".

So here goes. In 2011 I...

1. Learned to use chopsticks. 

Ok, so this might not sound mightily impressive but I have always been one of those people who embarrasses her friends by ordering chips at foreign restaurants and picks the fruit out of fruit cake. This year I've branched out a lot and tried things that I used to wrinkle my nose up at. So when I went to a posh Chinese restaurant for a friend's birthday I refused the fork and learned to do it properly.


    2. Gone to scary London 3 times.

When opportunities arise I have been doing my best to take them, no matter how scary they are. This has resulted in going 'where the scary opportunities are' - London. While I'd ideally move there to be with my boyfriend and set up a social enterprise and take writing classes and direct West End musicals and take the BBC by storm I'm not there yet but these trips are a start. I can use the underground by myself and have even managed to navigate around in a hurry without getting lost.


   3. Won a pub quiz (twice)

Or perhaps more times but I don't remember. Pub quizzes always seemed to me to be the type of everyday success that I could not do. I have always found trivia somewhat trivial unless it is of the amusing sort. The pub quiz I go to with my panto crowd has a creative round which is essentially a grown up Blue Peter make so I can actually contribute even though I thought Jimmy Hendrix was a snooker player!


   4. Became a volunteer co-ordinator

I've been promoted as a volunteer at Sophie's Wish (a brain tumour research charity I volunteer for) from being a general committee and ideas person to their volunteer co-ordintor. This essentially means lots of being pinickity about making databases and meeting new people for tea and cake!


  5. 2 long courses.

I went down to London for a really exciting leadership course with Common Purpose. Loads of disabled students were there and I made an amazing network of inspiring friends and got to go to some fancy London buildings. It was like a friendly, disabled version of 'The Apprentice'. I also did a 4 day business course with the Prince's Trust - pity I don't have a decent business idea.


   6. Bulk catering

My Mum and Dad retired this summer and Dad organised a surprise party for my Mum with her child-minded children and their families from the last 30 years. Somehow I got left doing the catering - for 110 people, for £120, with 3 hours preparation time. Sometimes it turns out I am actually superwoman, the rest of the time I manage to burn pasta.


   7. Moved to a nicer (though more expensive) house

I've moved house 8 times in 7 years now. It's really unsettling. This time, despite finding somewhere with only 48 hours to spare and paying a little more than I intended I have found a house where I feel at home. Those extra few hundred pounds are definitely worthwhile when I consider the effect feeling safe, being warm and having my best friend/carer close at hand have on my life.


   8. Worked in a shop

More volunteering. This time in a shop/community centre. I learned how to use the till and deal with difficult customers. Also, it turns out I'm quite good at window displays. It's an odd achievement to put down as I didn't achieve much really but it allowed me to get out of the house and learn about the people in my city. Different cultures, different perspectives and different needs - a good learning experience.


   9. Finished my MA

With hindsight I would not do this course again. I'd find one that was more recognised and led to a vocational qualification. At the same time over half of my class dropped out so I'm glad I stuck at it and finished. Perhaps 2012 will be the year of the PhD applications.


   10. Started going to a writing group

I have always written but now I'm making a formal weekly slot for it, complete with trusted and talented friends to edit my work and people for me to teach my ideas. I actually sent my Nano to a friend to be edited - poor sod.


    11. Kept a blog

And it is an achievement I intend to continue.

Au revoir pour 2011.


 

Gingerbread Epic!

This is it - my gingerbread church! This year my boyfriend in the big London
qualified as an architect after a gruelling seven and a half years. He's 
also started work on restoring the Saxon church he bought. So that's what 
I've made a model of St. Margaret's, Keddington.

Last year my gingerbread nativity came out a bit wonky as the gingerbread went soft
in our damp kitchen it soon started to sag. My Dad tried to restore it with wire and sticks, which kind of negates the point.  


This year, with that in mind, the construction had RSJs in the form of...
candy canes melted together with a blow torch. That's not to say that there weren't
some major cock ups though. Like why do recipes measure golden syrup in tablespoons? 

I also burnt myself considerably on making the stained glass windows. I couldn't get any boiled sweets in my village so I melted gummy bears in the microwave, which looked good but really burnt my fingers. 


While making this gingerbread church I got to thinking about why so many people are sad at Christmas. I don't just mean people who spend the time alone. It is the busiest day of the year on the website for students with mental illness that I write. I think it is to do with pressure and expectation. There is an expectation on the day itself to be a success - this is why Dawn French
had to eat everyone's sprouts in The Vicar of Dibley. There is an expectation on us all to be happy and at peace with the world, which is not always possible, especially when you are fighting an evil disease that is working against this expectation. Plus you are with your family. Even if they are great, everyone wants to round up there year. It's competitive in so many ways, the food gets elaborate, the gifts might be expensive or homemade. When I was little I made all my decorations and cards and baked for hours and everyone was always impressed because
I was a child. Now it seems childish and the pressure on things like this gingerbread church
becomes overwhelming. I actually sat in the kitchen for an hour being too intimidated by these over-sized pieces of biscuit to assemble them. But I'm glad I did, if any SMILe readers have made there way here as they try to get through Christmas let me give you a tip - be childish, make the trimmings of previous years. It's far better to be childish than miserable.

Frankenstein - a tragedy, a comedy, a love story

How could I possibly have forgotten to tell you about 'Frankenstein'? Well, there is something so all consuming about directing a play, especially with a cast of light entertainers, that is so exhausting that after it is over I tend to take to bed for a fortnight.

'Frankenstein' was written for us by Arkady, my darling carer/housemate/pseudo-brother and Matt Voice, the adorable chap pretending to be middle-aged in the middle of the photo below. NB. I do realise Mary Shelley wrote the 'Frankenstein' but this 'Frankenstein' was written by my lovely boys.

So yes after a heavy editing in which I tore out the proposal to end a tragi-comedy with a parody song I took the role of director alongside Matt, for whom it was his first time directing(he's not half as bossy as me). Our first major challenge came due to our company performing a double bill. When an American walked into our casting session Matt and I fell in love. We never knew Victor Frankenstein would be American but this man was our Victor Frankenstein, unfortunately he was being coveted as a pantomime dame for the other show.
I don't think I've ever had to be so stubborn as when I was fighting for my (leading) man but in the end we got our cast and set about sculpting our characters into 3D.

The two either side of Matt in the photo are our main characters Victor and Elizabeth Frankenstein. The story is an examination of human frailty. Victor's reason for bringing a dead colleague back to life is seemingly to help his department who cannot afford a new lecturer but an untold story is hinted at throughout in the absence of a child to continue the Frankenstein family line. These two are the most wonderful pair I have ever directed. Initially Matt and I were concerned about a lack of chemistry between them but after an hour shut in a room doing trust exercises involving a blindfold and Matt's shoe they started to become the married couple we were trying to convey - so comfortable with each other, wanting the best for one another. They finally got together on the night of the final show. They were the love story we never expected to come out of a tragi-comedy.

So this is a double achievement, introducing Elizabeth and Victor and pulling off a tragi-comedy, which I still think is a challenging genre. I wanted to make people laugh and make people cry in one sitting and this is something we achieved.

A bittersweet achievement.

This term, after 3 years of applications, I have finally had some job interviews. Like I say, it's a bittersweet achievement as I haven't got any of the jobs!

But it's a step forward I guess. I know that my health prohibits anything more than about 2 days a week and restricts things further as I can't drive in the city or do a lot of mundane jobs where my mind would not be occupied and turn in on itself. I also refuse to work for unethical companies.

So you see there is not a lot of choice left. All jobs want experience and you can't get experience without having a job. But I know I should be proud of myself because with youth employment hitting one million there is a LOT of competition out there and some people are considering me - until they meet me at least.

Interviews are horrible but I think I'm getting less terrified of them as I go along. It gives me a little speck of hope that I might get there one day.

XKCD cake

For those of you unfamiliar with XKCD let me just say 'Why are you wasting time reading my blog when you could be reading the XKCD back catalogue?' Go, now, read it. Go on.

XKCD is a webcomic of geekery and romance and philosophical musings. 'That's not your achievement' I hear you say, and no, indeed I am not the genius that is its writer and illustrator Randall Monroe. My housemate is a major fan and so for his birthday I illustrated his cake painstakingly using black food colouring and a cocktail stick with his favourite comics. A strip around the side and one frame on the top. It didn't transport very well but here are the pictures anyway:

 The top is the end frame of a comic strip about a woman who fills her flat to make it a giant ball pool, because she can. The text reads 'because we're grown ups now and it's our turn to decide what that means.' Yes, I was secretly hoping he'd agree to do this with our living room but apparently it might stop the signal getting from his controller to his PS3.

The sides, now a little worse for wear after walk and bus to the pub are a shortened comic strip featuring the stick man in a beret character, who is very philosophical. He has seen a woodpecker that he saw last year and bought it a birthday present. The final frame shows the woodpecker flying off with a power drill.

After all that inking with a cocktail stick, which is incidentally how I use glass pens as well, I am considering investing in an edible felt tip as they're only about £1.50 and would have saved me a few hours.

The cake tasted good too, which is always a bonus!

A few more sophisticated pieces of jewellery. And no I still con't have my ears pierced - but I do have a shoebox full of pretty earrings. Never pretended to be sane.

Why I've been quiet for a month...

For the last month I have not written on this blog, which let's face it does not matter as nobody actually reads it.
I have achieved a few things though mainly this month has been bed ridden with illness so my second biggest achievement was the record breaking amount of biscuit crumbs in my bed. I also learnt to eat with chopsticks, albeit slowly.

No, the biggest achievement of the month has been NaNoWriMo (or to the layman national novel writing month). I had a hankering to get involved with the wonderful 'Movember' moustache growing campaign, but alas my bosom gave me away every time I tried to fake it, so I just sponsored a friend with the appropriate hormonal equipment instead.

For NaNoWriMo the rules are simple - write a 50,000 word novel in the 30 days of November. This was actually my second NaNo and I was very nervous to try again in case I failed and ruined my unblemished success record of one. Again illness rendered me unconscious for 3 days during a few days of the final weeks (which is a rather odd repeat of last year) and I woke up going a) what day is it? and b) oh bollocks, that means I am 5001 words behind. The helpful graph to track my progress suddenly didn't seem so helpful.

My story is about a war time love triangle that made a few friends contort with empathy and agony (and these guys play Warhammer - if you know what I mean). Death, love, war and a victimful crime with no one to blame - I guess that is all I can say without spoiling the twist. What I will say is that it is definitely still pants but this time more comfy M&S black cotton knickers than the big granny pants I churned out last year.

Anyway, although I struggled, I completed with a few hours to spare and can now proudly put up my blog badge for Nano 2011. Will I be a glutton for punishment in 2012? Not even if you paid me - then again, I said that last year!

Nihil illegitimi carborundum...

or 'Don't let the bastards grind you down'. Yes, I had to go to London last week. No offense to you Southerners, I'm sure there are good eggs among you but I only seem to meet the privileged and ignorant sort who seem to think my illness is not a problem because I don't loudly lament about it and are not aware of the poverty that exists down the street.
I had a particularly awful conversation ending in valium when a woman tried to convince me that it was OK to discriminate against poor and disabled people because at least they were only discriminated against and not being subject to female circumcision. Well, I did not know how to react.

Finally, back in Shefland my friend put it eloquently for me...
"That's bollocks, if everytime a problem arose people did nothing on the premise that something worse was happening somewhere else then no problem would ever be addressed." What takes precedence for action, the immediate devastation of a tsunami or the on going politics behind an horrific genocide?

Yes indeed, it is 'bollocks'. And I shall continue to fight for the 'small stuff' that the rich don't deem worth the time they charge out at £50 per hour to the even richer. Luckily, being unemployed and unwell, my time is only worth what I can achieve with it. Where there is misery, pain, fear or shame on whatever scale I want to be able to help. You have to fight for your ideals, for everyone. I refuse to be one of those people who looks at another's suffering and say 'others have it worse than you'.

Never let anyone belittle your emotions. You have a right to own your feelings, to express yourself and to roll your eyes at those who would have you believe that your pain is worth less than someone else's.

My latest cake - a big pink owl based on a soft toy owl from Tilly's Barn (my aunt's company) for my neice, Kate. It did have eyes made from dolly mixture but by this point she had eaten them. We had a very nostalgic little party. My sister made a pass the parcel, which being her first birthday Kate didn't understand but she enjoyed the music and the sweeties anyway. Then Dad hit the music again for musical bumps. Hats off to my eldest sister, Kate's mum, who managed to get half way through diving on the floor with the baby in her arms. My Mum, who's nearly 60, joined in too. It helps that she's only 5 foot tall.

I've got more pictures still on my camera to add at some point.

The Final Wedding Cake

A Fairtrade Princess

I LOVE Fairtrade. I rarely buy new clothes as I prefer the prices and ethos of charity shops and the late night convenience and packages from eBay(where you can add a donation to charity at the checkout to ease any guilt over buying something spantangly you didn't really need). When I do buy new I buy Fairtrade.

Believe it or not, it's not all tie-dye and kaftans (though they're available) and because it's not all over the high street people are always brimming forth with compliments.

My top reasons for buying Fairtrade are:

• The materials are high quality and often organic
• I don't want to be dictated to by high street fashionistas (sorry friends at BSB)
• You can buy online or support small, independent shops
• They're just as cheap as the high street
• Compliments make me feel pretty
• The clothes are prettier and often designed to S/M/L so they are elasticated and comfy
• and of course, I can be sure that my clothes were NOT made in sweatshops.

We all win. Go on, try some...

NOMADS -  a small mail order company in Cornwall. Buy online or through retailers or join me in a bidding squabble on eBay.

I've got this coat in blue and purple!

http://www.nomadsclothing.com

NAMASTE - A Hindi(I think) greeting and a wonderfully colourful clothing company. Because of the hand made nature of their clothes and the recycled sari fabric they use many of their designs are totally unique. Their sale stock is often at really good prices and they do gifts, accessories and furniture too!

I don't have this particular dress but I have a few similar.

http://www.namaste-uk.com

They also have a totally awesome logo...

                                                                  ...see, told you!

GOOSE ISLAND - this is where I got my dress from for my sister's wedding and I've linked you to it already!

GRINGO - is a wholesale brand, so give them a Google to find shops that stock them online and in the flesh.

There are heaps more but my brain just isn't playing ball right now. The point is, they're the BEST way to respect third world producers.

Yummy Jewellery

A little while ago I pinched my Dad's camera and took some pictures of my earrings. I made most of these ones from polymer clay but can't wear them because I'm far too whimpy to have my ears pierced.

Nommy apples with a bite out of them (toothmarks and all).

Yummy lollipop pendant, swirly flump earring and tiny chocolate cake earrings. All photographed on nice tea towels!





Then finally I spent some time making a set of licorice allsort jewellery:

Romeo & Juliet

In a nice break from my thesis write up I got to go and see GB Theatre's outdoor performance of Romeo & Juliet in the Peace Gardens. I took Catherine with me as it obviously a first choice tale for someone about to be married?! I had won the tickets in the 'Off the Shelf' competition.

They had switched off the fountains for the night and performed over the spurt-holes. Apparently the Peace Gardens was designed for outdoor performance and though some dancing has happened there before this was the first theatre. An old friend from Tapton was teching and Gabriel Thomson from 'My Family' was Romeo. They all had really nice swords and really ridiculous leggings. Mercutio, Benvolio and the Friar were all particularly awesome. They used guitars, violins and voice beautifully for the sad bits.

Believe it or not this was the first time I had seen or read Romeo and Juliet. Theatre lover and English Graduate but I'd never happened upon it until tonight and I've still not seen Macbeth. Watching theatre I don't get the emotion I used to, the lithium restricts me and I'm so much more objective, casting a director's eye over how things are executed. I wanted to be an actress when other little girls wanted to be ponies.

Can't help think though, that if Juliet hadn't been so willing Romeo would have moved on again in a fortnight like he did from Rosaline. Greatest love story ever told? I don't think so but an excellent portrayal of a teenage crush played out in all its melodrama.

Reasons I wish my housemate was a girl...

A 1.  I’d not need to tell people he isn’t my boyfriend  

Yes he is a boy and I am a girl - no Avril Lavigne this does not make anything obvious. We are

friends. Plenty of people have friends of the opposite sex without feeling the need to do the 

squelchy. Plus, I don't think our respective girlfriend and boyfriend would be that amused.

 2.   Borrowing clothes would be easier

Although saying this boys clothes are much comfier. His pants even have a handy pouch at 

the front for keeping your lipstick in. And I do steal his hoodies in winter. 

 3.   Borrowing make up/tights/bras would be possible

The only variety of these items he owns are ones used for pantomime Dames, and nobody's 

boobs are really that size nor is fuscia pink a lipstick colour I could wear in public/daylight. 

 4.  I would not need to paint a target on the inside of the toilet bowl to help his aim

How hard can it be? Point and shoot. He manages on his playstation.

 5.  It would not annoy me so much that his hands are daintier than mine

He has lady's hands. I do not. (He prefers the term 'pianist's fingers')

6.    I’d be less likely to trip over his shoes

but if I did, the damage of falling over heels would be more dangerous.

A Wedding Challenge

I have a whopping 4 sisters and number 3 is about to get married. I've bought myself a pretty pink dress from Ellis' in Broomhill, it's from a Fairtrade label I'd not heard of before called Goose Island http://www.goose-island.co.uk/

But even more exciting than buying a dress that isn't second hand is my wedding task - I am decorating the cake!

Initially I wanted to do a brightly coloured one or something akin to the huge gypsy wedding ones but then I remembered this wasn't a cake moist dream and I must think a little more traditional - yes, my mother will most certainly be wearing a hat!

So I settled on a cake that resembled her dress:

This swinging number is from Justin Alexander and it looks so cool on my sister. So, the three tiers are going to be:

• Top Tier - 3D sugarpaste flowers hand painted with lustre and with pearly stamens.
• Middle Tier - Buttercream in a textured sweep(like the sash) with brown sugar to give it a nice colour
• Bottom Tier - Plain ivory trimmed with a toffee coloured ribbon

Wish me luck!

Sunshine. We have sunshine in April!
And mahoosive thunder/hail storms. This is one of my favourite fun in the sun photos. I haven't got out to do anymore this year because my camera stays in baby proximity. On the down side I'm covered in mosquito bites.

I'm going to design some dresses that I'll never get around to making now.

Scary Stage Times - Edinburgh Festival

Yes I did indeed perform at the Edinburgh Fringe festival 2010 in a sell out show produced by Two Shades of Blue www.twoshadesofblue.org.uk. The company is mainly made up of eccentric Oxbridger (the 2 shades of blue) students this time joined by Tim (our USLES dame) and I from Sheffield University. Alas, though we are also blue we could not persuade them to become 'Three Shades of Blue'. Here is the blurb from 'Indiana Jones and the Pantomime Horse' in which I sang my heart out as leading lady Patina del Fuego Amorizza Porcina Indirina Carlos.

Darrr da dah dah. Darr da daarrrrrrrrrr. Darr da dah dah. Darr daddddaaaaaaaaar daaaaaaaaar daaaaaaaaaaar. Rolling ball! Arghhh! With crossdressing.

This Summer, Indiana Jones faces his biggest challenge yet- looking after his high-maintenance mum in her retirement.

Luckily for Indy, his beloved Pat is kidnapped by treasure-hunting Nazis and only he can rescue her.

And so Indy is off on another rip-roaring adventure with sidekick and mother in two, hot on the heels of incompetent but evil villains, a feisty woman and a mysterious medallion.

With puns, guns, cunning double-disguises and funny songs, “Indiana Jones and the Pantomime Horse” combines all the best elements of traditional pantomime and rollicking adventure..

Personal achievements involved:

• being around people cleverer than me
• sharing a house with 30 gin fuelled divas(they're lovely really)
• singing(with key change) in front of a theatre-full
• committing to something scary
• being in crowds
• loads of other stuff

Really want to do it again if I have enough pennies.

The green fairy

This is my pensive green fairy. She is rather battered nowadays as she's moved from place to place with me. Sometimes on my door or by my bed or by my desk. She had 2 friends in a magenta fairy and a deep blue fairy but I don't seem to have photos of them and I didn't like them as much. You can't see very well on the photo but the face is quite realistic, I was also proud of the fabric of er skirt. I don't often use watercolours because I don't feel very in control with them. This also had some 3D bits with tissue paper wings, a twisted tissue bracelet and a fimo and tiny pearl flower in her hair.

Aladdin

We are coming up to the Summer performance(well, yes spring really) of U.S.L.E.S my pantomime group so I thought I would post about the production I was most involved in - Aladdin (2009). This was the first thing I had ever written that went on the stage with my dear friend Arkady. We also directed, I stage managed and together with Sarah and Emma made some of the most admired costumes and props we have ever had.

Basically it was a mix of the traditional Chinese laundry Aladdin using an Indian setting - mainly because I wanted an excuse to buy colourful saris. Our princess Amira got to choose her prince in a faithfully recreated revival of 'Blind Date' and our slosh scene involved Primrose the pantomime camel(played by Primrose the pantomime cow) causing Chess to fall into a washtub(splashed the first 2 rows), Arkady being shrunk in the washing machine to reveal a mini member of cast Becci, then stretching her through a mangle and rubbing her dry(making the switch back) to reveal Arkady once more. We had the Union Foundry at mates rates because Arkady has done so much work at TSC. And the music went pretty well too.

The baddies deserve a mention, Jacob was a hilarious Abanazer and Emily was a terrifying Genie of the Ring. I was so proud and exhausted.

The poster was done by Emma Metcalfe who is a (rather fabulous) illustrator.

Dalek Cake

This was one of the hardest cakes I've ever made. It's lots of pieces of chocolate sponge glued together with icing, iced over the top and decorated with mini marshmallows. It weighed loads and was rather difficult to carry on the train with my washing etc

My DIY dress form

This is my finished dress form. Finished 2 years ago that is!

I'm rather bigger than that now but I'm sure it could come in handy for something - couldn't conceive of chucking her away.

This was harder to make than it looks. After wrapping my torso entirely in gaffa tape I realised I couldn't bend to reach the scissors to cut myself out. I woke my sister at midnight to free me. I don't know whether it reflects badly on her or me that she didn't even flinch to be confronted by a half-naked/half-taped sister.

Glass class

I started back at my glass class this week. I do warm fused glass instead of art therapy, it's a WEA class and the teacher is really kind.

I've not taken pictures of last term's work yet but here are a few bits from before:

The first is a yellow frit tulip on a blue confetti background slumped into a dish shape and the second is a face using inclusions.

Unfortunately I give all my favourite bits away and don't have pictures of them but hey ho.

Funky pencil/glasses case

A little craft achievement. I made these for 2 of my sisters for Christmas and at least one is already in use. The fabric was some small sample pieces I had in my stash. I even lined them.